


All the fun of the fair

by LittleSpider



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Bonding, Cute, Funfair, Implied M/M, M/M, Merlins relaxed accent, daisy is now like 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:36:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29878497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSpider/pseuds/LittleSpider
Summary: Merlin is no longer a field agent, especially after losing his legs in Cambodia.But that doesn't stop him taking on a special assignment.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	All the fun of the fair

Merlin had no idea how he was talked into it.

He wasn't tired, he wasn't on autopilot, he wasn't repaying a favour...unless of course you class being dragged on the back of someone, gripping onto their bullet ripped suit through a Cambodian jungle with make shift tourniquets keeping you from bleeding out as a favour...

He sighed heavily as he got out of the taxi, and in knocking on Harry's door he paused. Trying to sum up just why Merlin had been Daisy's baby sitter of choice.

Daisy had always had her favourite baby sitters of course. Roxy could be counted on to paint her nails, keep her secrets, and also tell her the best bed time stories complete with play acting.  
Agent Tequila was her 'boyfriend' and would bring her a posy of flowers, that had no doubt been whipped from someone's window box en route, and carry all of her bags when he took her to the Westfield for bubble tea and 'retail therapy'. Although that was likely to get on Harry's good side now he was Arthur.

She loved Ginger, or rather should he say Whiskey, and would make time for conference calls whenever Harry took them at home and Whiskey asked to speak to her future 'STEM scientist'.

But for some reason...ever since he first dropped off a fresh suit at Eggsy's door, Daisy was besotted with him.

At first he'd brush it aside as 'it's my glasses', 'its my bald head', 'its my accent', but no matter what if Daisy was playing up and refusing her bedtime, medicine, or later on to do her homework, a quiet word on the phone from 'Uncle Merlin' would do the trick.

The door opened and as expected, Eggsy's shirt was at half mast, his cheeks blotched red and looking like a real state.

“Merlin, she won't behave herself, I told her she can't go to the fair with ya.”

“Nonononononono!!” came a shrill voice, suddenly getting closer as a blonde haired girl in a grey pinafore dress, ankle socks, and with a jammy mouth swung desperately on her brothers elbow.

Eggsy looked exaspheratedly at Merlin. Half pleading, half defeated.

Merlin felt his stern expression develop into a curl of a smirk.

He leaned down and drew eye to eye with the 6 year old.

“...Daisy...” he began in a soft voice.

At once, she let go of her brothers elbow and turned to look at Merlin.

“...Now, I was under the impression, that when I arrived here this afternoon, a young lady with a clean face and some good manners was going t'be waiting for a visit to the funfair...”

“I am ready.” Daisy said indignantly as Merlin dug in his pocket for a handkerchief. “I just wanted some jam first.”

“Yeah, and she wouldn't bleedin' wait for the toast would she! Getting a tea spoon and helpin' herself to it!” Eggsy protested.

Merlin raised his eyes to silence Eggsy who stopped immediately.

Merlin handed Daisy the handkerchief.

“Go and get yer'sen cleaned up, and I'll be waiting. Wrap up warm.”

Daisy took the hanky and ran up the stairs, her plaits flailing behind her as Eggsy leaned against the door frame. “Come in...” he invited, heading into the house and picking up Daisy's school bag and hanging it over the hanger next to the door.

Although the house had been blown to smithereens in the terror attack that Poppy had unleashed on Kingsman registered properties, the plot and deeds still belonged to Kingsman Tailors, Saville Row. Meaning it was restored, along with several other properties (with the help of Statesman's funds) in perfect detail, although Harry did bemoan the 'eccentricities' of the old place had sadly gone.

Merlin looked upstairs, avoiding the downstairs bathroom knowing the glassy stare of a Border Terrier would no longer greet him.

“...where's Harry?” Merlin asked. “I've brought over that USB drive.”

“USB drive?” Eggsy sneered as he went into the kitchen. “I thought we were better than that? Don't Statesman have some private data cloud, or toothpicks that can hack into computers via the audio output?”

“...It's Gawain's 40th birthday party.” he explained with a note of offence.

“Oh. He's taken Pickles Junior for a walk. You want a tea?”

“No thank you.” Merlin replied politely. “Had one before I left. So what was that all about then?”

Eggsy sighed, opening the fridge and pulling out a beer. “She wanted some of that jam Harry has. The conserve stuff. I said, let me put it on some toast for you, before I know it she'd climbed on the breakfast bar and helped herself. Sat there with the jar between her legs, digging in. I tell you, Merlin. Don't take her on the waltzers, she'll spew up everywhere.”

Merlin chuckled to himself.

“When does Michelle come home?”

“Friday, and I can't wait.” Eggsy sighed. “When Mum said she fancied a getaway, I was happy to jump at the chance. She's turned into a lil--”

“Child?” Merlin suggested. “Bairns do this, Eggsy. They're kids. I'd wager you were intae everything when you were kid.”

“I dunno. When my dad died I kind of had to grow up fast...”

Merlin shifted slightly as the words died in the air, and without meaning to, and possibly at the very worst moment, his leg flexed. A metallic clunk rang through the kitchen.

Eggsy looked to his legs, then up to Merlin's face. His cheeks had taken on a red tinge.

“...How are th--”

“So, what time shall I have her back for?” he asked. “It's no' a school night.”

Eggsy nodded, understanding to drop it. “...Before nine, if that's alright. She's got dance tomorrow morning at 9am so I want her in bed and bathed before ten.”

“Understood.”

Daisy skid into the kitchen, jam gone from her face, wearing a corduroy dungaree dress, light up trainers, pink jumper and a mustard coloured coat with a fur hood. She had dressed herself...but the looks of the tags sticking out of the various garments and the buttons done up wrong.

“...Fucks sake...” Eggsy breathed almost silently and moved to dress his little sister.

“Get off dick head.” Merlin heard Daisy hiss before Eggsy tugged on her plait gently.

“Pack it in or I'll tell mum you tried to cut your hair.”

Merlin, growing up without siblings didn't know if this was usual banter between brother and sister. But from the smiles on both of their faces knew it was not malice.

When she was better presented, he let her go and she ran to Merlin.

“Ready!”

Merlin nodded.

“Ready.” he agreed and nodded to Eggsy. “Nine on the dot.”

With that Daisy took Merlin's hand and led him through the house to the waiting Taxi.

*

Merlin hadn't been to a funfair since he was a younger man, studying at Imperial College. As a laugh, him and about 7 of the other lads had decided to go and after throwing up on the Ferris wheel after a hot dog and a bottle of 20/20 he had decided that they weren't the place for him.

However, Daisy had never been to a real funfair. Not a British funfair.

Eggsy had taken his mother and Harry and Daisy to Disneyland Florida the year before last, and she had met every Princess she had ever seen in Disney films. So he wasn't sure why she wanted to go to the funfair so badly.

“Uncle Merlin...” began Daisy, for the tenth time in the Taxi journey as she stared out of the window at the various landmarks.

“Aye, hen?”

“Where was you born?”

“...Fife.” he replied. “...It's in Scotland.”

“That's a long way away.” she noted, still staring out of the window.

“Aye, 'tis a long way away.” he agreed with a note of amusement.

“How did you get down'ere then?” she asked.

“...I was offered a scholarship.”

“What's that?”

Merlin adjusted the way he was sat so he could speak to her a little better, aware that Dominic, the driver would be listening and Merlin liked to keep his private history as private as possible.

“...It's like...if you become very, very good at dancing...one day you might be offered a scholarship to a special school that will train you to become the very best at dancing.” he explained.

“Are you a very good dancer, Uncle Merlin?”

Merlin gave a soft murmur of amusement.

“...No, hen. But I was very good at fixing things and understanding how things should be fixed.”

“So you got a schol-a-sheep in fixing things?”

Merlin nodded.

“So how did you become a tailor?”

Merlin smiled, amazed at how astute she was. Truly Eggsy's sister.

“I found out that clothes needed fixing too.”

She nodded and went back to looking outside again.

The Funfair was in Greenwich. And although Merlin wasn't expecting much, it took him by surprise as the colourful lights, bright painted rides, music blasting out of the various thrill rides and the scent of acrid, burning sugar seeped into his senses.

He glanced at Daisy for her opinion but she was already mesmerised by the various coloured offerings.

Merlin automatically reached over to help her with her seat belt as the Taxi pulled up, and gestured for her to press the button to release the clasp and as she reached for the door handle, he tried to keep up, although he wasn't as fast as he once was.

Fortunately, Dominic had opened her door and was helping her out by the time Merlin had found his footing again and got out onto the pavement outside.

He nodded to Dominic and took Daisy's hand firmly in his own before walking towards the muddy field the funfair was on.

The smell of hot dogs, popcorn, burgers that were burning at the sides in oceans of fat turned his stomach as he remembered the funfairs at home.

“ROUND AND ROUND WE GO, WE'RE NOT GONNA STOP! WE'RE GONNNNNAAAA SCREEAAAAMMMM!”

Merlin looked around swiftly at the sound, the Waltzers spun in the dark as strobes and flashes of light illuminated the teenagers who were scream-laughing as they were spun around in their carriages.

“Uncle Merlin, can we--”

“No hen, that's a big person ride.” he quickly replied. “...Uh...how about something a little gentler?”

Daisy began pulling him in the direction of a large attraction.

The dodgems.

The cars collided nosily into one another as drivers raced around. Smashing into their mates, risking concussions and fractured noses with each aggressive hit.

“Oh Uncle Merlin!” she yelped excitedly, pulling on his hand. “Can we?!”

Merlin was not sold on this exactly but at least this way he could control how much danger she was in.

He squinted once and activated the Kingsman diagnostic system on his glasses, which at once presented a HUD of each vehicle and the probability of various parts of the car causing injury.

Within moments he has assessed the damage, selected a car, and made a plan.

“...Alright...Yes, but let me drive okay? You can tell me who to bump into.”

Daisy nodded happily and gripped his hand tightly in excitement.

He paid the ride operator and collected his bright orange plastic token and waited.

As the cars slowed down, Merlin edged towards the vehicle with the most hopeful diagnostic and lowering Daisy slowly into the car, he wrapped the pathetically inadequate 'belt' around her before removing his field jacket, folding it up, and wrapping it around her as an extra buffer.

“...Keep your hands in the car, and stay as close to me as you can, alright?” he murmured pressing the token against the slot, ready to go.

“Alright boys and girls!” came the enthusiastic voice over the tannoy. “At the sound of the klaxon, starrrrrrrrrrt Bumping!”

The Klaxon went off and at once, Merlin's car shot forward. He was out of the fray before the other cars had even began to move and turning the car 180 degrees before hitting the other stationary cars, he launched towards where the last few patrons of the ride were setting off.

“Uncle Merlin! Get that boy in the green hoodie, his little brother goes to my school and he picks his nose and eats it!”

Merlin wrinkled his nose, but did as he was instructed and sped towards the youth in the green hoodie.

The boy didn't know what had hit him as Merlin's car sent him spinning into the side, clipping his car and barely losing momentum.

“Ooh! Uncle Merlin, that girl over there. I saw her throw her hot dog on the floor 'stead of the bin!”

Merlin was impressed by her observation skills but couldn't help but think he was doing the evil bidding of a young child.

He complied, his fists wrapped around the rubber wheel as he sent the girl who was shrieking obscenities into another pile up.

Daisy clapped and laughed, each time Merlin sent another person into a maelstrom of chaos and never once getting bumped. Merlin thought of how much training he'd had in advanced driving at Arthurs request and how it was now being used to entertain the child sister of the man who had assassinated him.

He must have been spinning in his grave.

To Merlin's surprise, he was smiling too by the time the cars had stopped and the Klaxon had sounded again.

Hopping out onto the metal plated floor, he picked up Daisy, rescuing his jacket as he did and let her down.

“Uncle Merlin! You drive almost as good as Eggsy!”

Merlin gave a soft laugh.

“...I'll take that as a compliment.”

Daisy was already dragging him across to the Ghost train.

“Uncle Merlin! Please! Can we go in here?”

Merlin looked up and down at the ride and once again. This time he didn't need his glasses to know this ride was going to be absolutely shite.

The track couldn't have been more than 25 feet long. And unless they had some serious special effects in there, it was going to be an utter disappointment.

“You sure?” he asked, looking down at the young girl. “Might be a wee bit spooky?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

He sighed and walked up to the booth where a disinterested man took their money and another led them to their car.

After placing Daisy in, Merlin got in along side and lowered the bar down onto them.

Soon, the car rattled off into the double doors that led to the Ghost train.

Merlin's night vision kicked in as soon as they were inside, his glasses presenting an illuminated view and he was right.

There was a man in a black hoodie waiting to scare them half way down the small track, a few pathetic dry ice machines and a few faded zombies on the wall.

He thought quickly about what to do to improve the ride for his young ward.

He reached down to his watch, and tapping the dial and locating the electrical conduits for the ride, decided to make some adjustments.

The lights began to buzz, and faze in and out, the dim wattage suddenly glowing with excessive power flow.

The Dry ice machines began to chug out more smoke, leading to the man who was hiding half way down to become disoriented.

And finally, with a final tap of his watch, the doors behind them began to open and close aggressively making a repetitive slamming noise.

It must have worked because Daisy gripped the side of his coat and buried her small face into his side.

He smirked, rather proud of himself at the ingenuity and wrapped his arm around her as the new added Special effects played out.

The ride was over shortly and when he got out, picking up Daisy out of the car, the man who had been hiding in the ride went to tell the man in the booth what had happened.

Merlin disabled the new controls he had input and set the ride back to its original default settings.

“Uncle Merlin? It ain't nine yet is it? I still want to do so much!”

He smiled and covered his watch with his sleeve.

“No hen. Where to next?”

She looked around, and then pointed at a ride called The Sizzler.

It was a tri-armed ride that spun cars 360 degrees in the air and although it looked enticing. It seemed to be a bit mature for her.

But she was already making strides towards the ride with him following behind.

The HUD on his glasses was already inspecting the ride when a part of the ride illuminated red.

Danger.

The wiring was faulty, and there was a potential issue with the security and safety of one of the cars.

He wanted to tell Daisy that it wasn't safe, but she was gazing up at it intently. Her mind made up.

“ _...Bill, did you see how it was acting on the last go?”_

“ _Del, i've told you. It's safe.”_

“ _It was buckling, I'm fuckin' telling you”_

Merlin tapped the side of his glasses to boost the sound of the nearby conversation that was coming from the booth the ride operator was sat in.

“ _Did you tighten it, like I told you.”_

“ _Yeah, but the bolts are fucked. The threadings gone. You keep it riding, it will come loose.”_

“ _Just load the next ride, and shut up. You tell anyone about this, I'll kick your fucking teeth in.”_

Merlin swallowed thickly and reached for his watch again.

He had to hack the ride to ensure that it didn't start.

It wasn't easy, especially as most of the components were hopelessly out of date and had been jumbled together to just 'work'.

But soon, he managed to get into the machines mainframe...and....

The sound of the machine powering down drowned out the noise from the nearby rides, and nervous laughter broke through it as both men left the booth to examine the ride.

“...Oh hen.” He began, trying to act as though he was greatly saddened they couldn't go on the bucket or rust and bolts masquerading as a ride. “It looks like it's broken. Come on, see what else is available...”

Daisy looked disappointed, but soon found another stall she was interested in.

“Uncle Merlin! Can you win me a prize??”

Merlin was just finishing sending an anonymous tip off about the rides integrity to the local health and safety department when his eyes moved to where she was pointing.

A target shooting game.

A smile broke through his cool expression.

“...That I can...”

This time, he marched towards the stall with the same vigor as the child.

“How you doing, mate?” The man behind the counter began, beginning his patter. “£1 a pop, tenner gets you 12 goes, Every hit on target is a prize, but you get the bullseye, you get one of the big teddies for your daughter, how does that sound?”

Merlin reached into his pocket, and pulled out his wallet as Daisy stood on tip toe.

“Uncle Merlin ain't my dad. He's my Uncle...and he's a tailor!”

The man gave a smile to Daisy then looked to Merlin and his wallet.

Merlin handed over £10.

“Twelve please.”

At once, the man obliged and bought over several preloaded plastic rifles.

Merlin examined the rifle carefully, a little too closely for the man's liking it seemed as he moved awkwardly.

“You with special branch or sommink?”

Merlin shook his head.

“Saville Row.”

After that, Merlin landed 12 shots.

12 shots, one after the other, directly into the bullseye of the target without a single problem.

“'ere! 'ere! You can't do that!” The man protested. “There's a cap! Only one large teddy per game!”

Merlin lowered the gun and glanced at the man and quickly accessed the police data base via his glasses for leverage.

Peter Franklin. Aka Steven Thompson. Aka Lennie Jones: 2 and a half years in Featherstone prison for fraud. 12 month suspended sentence for running illegal bookmakers.

“...You didn't mention that, nor did you provide me with a copy of those rules prior to the game. I'd be happy to get the police involved if necessary. After all, they're rather hot on topics of fraudulent games of chance.”

The man swallowed hard.

“Which ones you want?”

When Daisy had selected the teddies she wanted, Merlin had requested a taxi to come and pick up their new passengers.

Daisy was beginning to yawn and was nuzzling her new teddy bear. A large brown bear with sleepy eyes and a large smile.

“...did y'enjoy y'sen?” he asked her, carrying as many of the teddies as he could whilst carrying the rest in a large popcorn dump bag that the woman in the concessions stall had offered him.

She nodded.

“Thank you Uncle Merlin.”

When the car arrived, Merlin bundled the teddies into the back and Dominic gave him a knowing smile. Aware he likely used his skills as an agent to win this bounty.

On the ride home, the lights of London looked beautiful as always, and the fact that it was constantly in danger from one threat or another seemed to subside slightly to make way for that beauty.

Daisy had fallen asleep on his lap. Opting for the warmth of his jacket rather than the teddy instead.

“...At least you're gonnae sleep...” he muttered.

By the time the taxi had pulled up. Night had fallen and it was getting on for half eight.

The door opened and Harry was stood there, looking every inch as put together as he usually did, a far cry from Eggsy a few hours prior.

Dominic obliged by removing the teddies and bringing them to the door as Harry looked on with a smile over his cup of tea.

“I take it all went well, old friend?” he asked Merlin as he stepped out of the car carefully. Holding the young girl in his arms.

“...Lets say Chester King gave his grave a few turns tonight. Worth every second.”

Harry leaned in and called for Eggsy who appeared in a tee-shirt and jeans to take his sister off the Quartermaster's hands.

“...she's knackered. You didn't stun her did'ja?” Eggsy asked with a grin.

“No. She's had an eventful evening...I hope you have somewhere for all of these teddybears.”

“Jesus...” Eggsy muttered before taking his sister indoors.

Harry shook Merlin's hand.

“Thank you. She's rather fond of you, it seems.”

“Aye, she's a good kid.” Merlin concurred as he grit his teeth, reaching down to rub his knee. The soreness of his stump rubbing against the plastic mould of his prosthetic.

“...Do you want to come in and si--”

“I'd best be off, Harry. Give my best to Michelle.” Merlin replied swiftly.

Harry nodded, understanding immediately.

“Of course.”

Merlin walked, disguising his limp as best he could back to the taxi and got in, directing Dominic to take him home.

As they rode towards his town house.

Merlin considered many things, usually resulting back to that hot, sticky, painful Jungle outside Poppyland.

And all of the things that made him remain present whilst he was essentially dying on Eggsy's back as they went to the evacuation point.

He never imagined himself in a Greenwich park, winning teddy bears for a young child as one of the things that made him glad that he held on.


End file.
